Good of you to drop in to say hello, we sure do appreciate a chance to chew the fat.
You’ll be pleased to hear that the jellybean’s have worked and my ‘gator hound is feeling better today.
I am debating whether to bin my traitorous Coffee machine or open her up and torture her into submission, I realize that this may seem like overkill, but having spent two hours mopping my kitchen floor yesterday, I am sorely tempted.
In other news, the community of Fort Guff is once again under siege from rampaging Raccoon’s, its not safe to be outdoors after sundown, last night they stole the Sherrif’s SUV and drove across the state line to the nearest Cracker Barrel.
It appears that when they got there, they invaded and after eating their own body weight in coffee beans they demolished the store before making off with an unspecified quantity of peanut brittle.
Sadly the Sheriff was taken along for the ride, ended up handcuffed to an old rocking chair and was fed salt water taffy until he begged for mercy.
He is currently in an stable condition and is slowly recovering from his 10 hour ordeal in Fort Guff’s mercy hospital.
You have been warned, please contact your local law enforcement should you encounter these furry menaces, do not attempt to approach them under any circumstances.