Top ten thanksgiving tips for a happy holiday.

Back by popular demand ladies and gentlemen,

howdy folks, it seems that our little post yesterday was appreciated and we have been asked to give our 10 top tips for surviving this holiday.

1- Perhaps the most important point of all ensure that your home is a raccoon free zone.

2 – Pets should not be allowed in the kitchen before, during or after the food preparation, so keep them busy on extended anti raccoon patrol.

3 – Grankids should be only be allowed in the kitchen for a) potato peeling b) dish washing c) defrosting the ice box otherwise they should be encouraged to take part in any or indeed all patrols against hungry raccoons. 

4 – When making possum trifle do remember the correct measurements: one shot of sherry for the trifle and two for Granpa or Granma!

5 – The GAME shall take precedence over any other shows on TV at all times.

6 – Granpa or Granma are always in charge of the remote control.

7 – Spare Uncles and Aunties should always maintain a constant state of readiness in case of any emergency trips to the store for any forgotten necessities. Removal of outer garments such as coats and / or capes should only be permitted when everyone is sitting down to eat, never before.

8 – Uninvited or surprise guests can also be used as handy draft excluders in a pinch, by strategically placing them around your home, they may also serve as raccoon deterrents if situated correctly outside in the garden, yard or porch.

9 – Corn on the cob or corn bread are the only acceptable types of corn allowed. Just say NO to creamed corn, chunky corn butter or corn spread. Anyone found guilty of manufacturing corn caramel should be immediately handed over to your local law enforcement officers.

10 – No snoring on the couch or indeed even in your favorite armchair, this applies equally to the young as well as the more mature members of your family, regardless of trifle consumption.

Have a happy thanksgiving.


G. Guff


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